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unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

EVERY SINGLE EASTER MY MOTHER HIDES A THREE POUND EASTER EGG IN THE HOUSE AND SETS MY BROTHERS AND I OFF TO GO FIND IT AND GUESS WHO GOT IT FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR IN A ROW

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NOT THOSE LIL BITCHES

illkim:

Entire Class: *forgets to do homework*

Teacher: Well I guess I won’t count it

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saladder:

people who bite ice cream with their front teeth are on a whole different level


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polarisopposites:

lightning8d:

castielsteenwolf:

castielsteenwolf:

This one time i was in church and my mom said she would give me 10$ if while the priest was flinging “holy water” at us i would run into the aisle once he passed and start hissing and screaming “IT BURNS” 

do u know how many angry Christians i got in my inbox because of this

666?

Why isn’t anyone talking about what a great sense of humor your mom has?